Striding Scars
by TheTwoMind
Summary: ah'm texan. ah got an accent. ah got a boyfriend. ah can give a massage. ah can time travel to kill ya if ya hurt mah boyfriend. "What was that?" ah can give a massage. "Can i have one?" sure
1. I WAS DRUNK WHEN I SUNG IT!

**AN: Music gives me ideas.**

Harry Potter sat on the train, headphones on and singing alone to his own cover of a song that I found on the internet and am currently spamming for fun. "and when ya smile with those fangs it ain't hard to tell! ya don't know oh oh! ya don't know that yer psycho!" He sung, light shining off of his sunglasses, which seemed to be ben stiller shades. "ah really need to get tha group together ta make more covers." He muttered, before lying down and putting the music on loop.

"Excuse me, have you…" A girl tried to say, looking in the wrong direction before sniffing the air and turning to Harry. "D4V3?" She questioned.

"hey tz, ah'm trying to sleep over here" He said annoyed.

"COM3 ON D4V3! DON'T YOU W4NN4 GO T4LK TO TH3 OTH3RS?" 'tz' whined.

"fine…" He grumbled, getting up and stretching, before turning to her. "d'ya know who ah am though?" He asked with a smirk.

"D4V3."

"yyyyenope." He told her with a grin. "ah'm harry potter" He corrected. "ah'm also dave strider" He added.

"J3RK!" 'tz' complained.

"everyone else in the room can see it! everyone else but ya…" He sung to the music with a grin.

"H3Y!" Tz joined in remembering the lyrics, making the boy that was Harry but also called Dave, jump.

"ah need to turn the music down…" He noted, pausing it and taking his headphones. "lets go." He told her, letting her lead him to their friends.

"GU3SS WHO 1 FOUND!" She shouted as she entered a compartment.

"WHAT IS IT TEREZI? MY THINKPAN FEELS LIKE IT'S ON FIRE!" A short boy shouted annoyed.

Dave silently sat next to the boy and started rubbing his head, making sure to pay attention to small bone-like nubs that came out of it.

"OH THAT FEELS GOOD…" He moaned.

"ah knew it! ya only like me for mah hands!" Dave shouted in mock horror, continuing to rub his head.

"DAVE PLEASE DON'T STOP… YOUR HANDS ARE JUST A BONUS… A REEEEAALLY… GOOD ONE…" The boy begged, melting into his hands like putty.

"TOLD YOU 1 COULD H3LP!" The girl, who was called Terezi, told the boy. "1 TOLD YOU K4RK4T!"

"WHATEVER…" The boy, karkat, said, ignoring her in favour of Dave's hands.

"ya like this?" Dave asked with a smirk, being sure to layer the sarcasm.

"YES. I LIKE IT AND YOU KNOW I LIKE IT SO DON'T STOP." Karkat agreed without a care.

"You know, it's gr8 how we can just get nu88y to shut up by throwing a massage at him." A girl wearing an eyepatch over her left eye noted.

"what's with the eyepatch?" Dave asked curiously.

"Vision 8fold here means my vision is all weird, and it's really annoying." The girl explained, flipping it up to reveal seven pupils all in the same eye, before she pulled it back down. "It's soooooooo hard to deal with..." She complained. "I'm 8asically blind in one eye..."

Dave gave a nod as he took his hands away, to Karkat's dismay. "can ah try something?" He asked, pulling something out of his pocket.

"A monocle? Really Dave?"

"ain't what ah'm after vriska!" He shouted annoyed, before pulling something else out. "darn, guess ah lost it." He realised, shrugging. "nevermind" He told her, going back to Karkat's skull and turning the poor guy into putty.

"OH THAT'S GOOOOOOOD…" Karkat moaned, leaning into him.

"ya'll should calm down a bit or people might get the wrong idea" Dave warned.

"OH! 1 JUST R3M3MB3R3D! 1 GOTT4 GO T3LL SOM3ON3 SOM3TH1NG!" Terezi shouted, running off, slamming into many walls as she did.

"ya kinda forget she's blind with how she acts" Dave commented, getting nods of agreement.

"YEAH. YOU ONLY REMEMBER WHEN SHE STARTS TO LICK YOU… UGH…" Karkat agreed, shivering a little. "YOU CAN STOP IF YOU WANT, BUT I WOULD LIKE MORE." Karkat told him, as Dave pulled his hands away.

"sorry, but ah gotta rest mah hands for a sec." He apologised.

"IT'S FINE." He said with a shrug, sitting up from where he had slumped until he'd fell from his seat.

"So, any 8et's on where she went?" Vriska asked with a smirk.

"either to find the others or to go find a secret lover" Dave said instantly.

"I'M GONNA GO WITH FIND THE OTHERS." Karkat decided.

"… soo… romcoms?" Dave asked quickly.

"HELL YES!"

"Can I watch? You never let me." Vriska asked.

"… ah don't mind" Dave agreed.

"… FINE… I GUESS." Karkat nodded, as they set up Dave's portable tv, loading up a romcom.

"Huh, haven't seen this one." Vriska noted.

"ah found this one in mah old files, haven't watched it yet though." Dave explained. "but online reviews seem to like it."

 **Hours later**

Dave and Karkat entered the hall with Vriska bouncing behind them, the girl jabbering away about the movie they had ended up watching.

"IT'S CON AIR ALL OVER AGAIN…" Karkat complained.

"did i hear someone say con air?" A boy's voice said, sliding past towards Vriska.

"Hey John!" Vriska greeted happily.

"hey vriska!" The boy called John greeted back, high fiving Vriska.

"hey egbert" Dave greeted, giving John a fist bump.

"hey dave! seen rose lately? no? oh just wait then…" John snickered, giving a grin.

"ah got a song if ya wanna hear it later." Dave offered.

"yeah!" John nodded.

"Potter, Harry!" Dave rolled his eyes under the shades, the lightning bolt scar only visible when he was very sweaty.

"guess it's mah turn then" He noted, getting up and heading to the table, putting his headphones away from his neck and pocketing them. "mah names dave strider now and has been for a while" He told the lady before popping the hat on his head.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

It had been ten minutes…

"…"

"…"

"…"

Dave took the hat off. "ah think ah broke it." He muttered, as he looked at his robes flicker between red and yellow.

" _ **GRYFFINDOR**_ " It finally decided, the robes staying red.

"alright." he nodded with a shrug, heading to the table.

 **Later**

Dave and John sat in a room they had found, Dave setting up his phone to find the song that he'd recorded with Karkat. "ah got it ready." Dave told John, turning the song on along with a video of Karkat singing the song with Dave in the background providing background lyrics.

"FORGIVE ME IF IM BEING  
TOO STRAIGHT FORWARD  
I SOUNDED SO MUCH COOLER IN DAYDREAMS  
BUT NOW MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT COULD  
SHORT-CIRCUIT IF THERES NO ROOM  
FOR ME IN YOUR ARMS  
I'M SORRY THAT I TAKE TO APRIL SHOWERS  
I NEVER WAS ONE  
FOR CHEERFUL FLOWERS  
BUT IT WAS YOU WHO  
CAUSED MY HEART TO WAVER  
YOU TURNED MY WHOLE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN  
I WONDER IF YOUR STARS ARE ALL THE SAME AS MINE...?  
SOMEDAY WE'LL MEET BENEATH CLEARER SKIES  
IF I WAX SCARLET FOR YOU IN THE MOONLIGHT  
A MOMENT LATER BLACK AS THOUGHT ITS MIDNIGHT  
MY COMPLICATED FEELINGS EVER-CHANGING!  
ARE LIKE THE PHASES OF THE MOON 

CANCER CRYSTAL POWER!

I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND  
HOW HUMAN ROMANCE GOES  
I SHOULD GIVE UP THEY SAY BUT I KNOW...  
YOUR PRANKSTER GAMBIT  
IS YOUR PROUDEST FEATURE  
AND YOUR NOT HALF BAD TOO LOOK AT EITHER  
THINK I MIGHT BE  
ADDICTED TO YOUR LAUGHTER  
YOUR OPTIMISM BLOWS ME AWAY  
DONT SAY THINGS LIKE  
I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOU  
IF I KEEP PUSHING THEN  
I MIGHT BREAK THROUGH  
AND EVEN IF I NEVER DO COMPLETELY  
I WANNA TRY IT ANYWAY  
I HAVE TO SOLVE THIS MYSTERY  
-DONT ASK ME WHY  
SOMEDAY WE'LL MEET BENEATH CLEARER SKIES  
IF I WAX SCARLET  
FOR YOU IN THE MOONLIGHT  
A MOMENT LATER BLACK  
AS THOUGH ITS MIDNIGHT  
MY COMPICATED FEELING EVER-CHANGING!  
ARE LIKE PHASES OF THE MOON  
OH, I WANNA MEET YOU SOON  
BENEATH A ROMANTIC FULL MOON!" The Video Karkat sung cheesily.

"wait… is this song… communism?" John asked shocked.

"yup" Dave nodded. "ah had the idea and got karkat to sing it"

"wow… when did you film this?"

"on the meteor, about the second year on april 14th."

"my birthday?"

"real late birthday present bud." Dave told him, giving a smirk.

"thanks!" John said with a grin. "this is probably one of those things i'll ask if we can watch when i'm depressed…"

"lions stick together bud." Dave told John, who was also a Gryffindor. Yeah I just stick 'em in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, really simple that way.


	2. ya'll are screwed

**AN: Hiiiiii**

Dave rolled his eyes, still hidden under the shades, as he and Karkat shared the bed, to the confusion and or disgust of their roommates.

"YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE THOSE OFF." Karkat suggested, his loud voice cutting through the room like a hot knife through ice.

"yeah ah should but ah don't wanna" Dave told him, before Karkat snatched them and put them to the side.

"JUST GET SOME SLEEP… NOBODY'S GOING TO CARE." He told him, looking into Dave's red eyes without a care.

"… ah guess…" He agreed, leaning against Karkat's back as he fell asleep…

 **Next day**

"WELL, I DO LIKE THAT ONE, BUT I HAVE A FEW FAVOURITES." Karkat told John as they headed down the stairs.

"like what?"

"WELL…" Karkat began with a grin, taking a deep breath. "IN WHICH THE MAIN PROTAGONIST SITS IDLY TILL ON DAY HE FINDS HIMSELF HEAD OVER HEELS FOR REDROM INTEREST A, BUT REDROM INTEREST A IS FLUSHING FOR HER KISMESIS WHOSE AUSPICTICIOUS MOIRAIL IS THE MAIN PROTAGONIST. THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD ONE." He shot out, not missing a single beat.

"wait really? didn't you mention one called…" John asked, taking an even deeper breath then Karkat had… "WHEREIN NUMEROUS VIGILANTES CONFRONT PERIL ONE OF THEM BETRAYS THE OTHERS, BUT IT TURNS OUT TO BE PART OF THE PLAN ALL ALONG, SEVERAL ATTRACTIVE FEMALE LEADS PROVOKE ROMANTIC TENSION, FOUR MAJOR CHARACTERS WEAR UNUSUAL HATS, ONE HOLDS PLOT-CRITICAL SECRET 47 ON-SCREEN EXPLOSIONS, ONE RESULTING IN DEMISE OF KEY-ADVERSARY, 6 to 20 LINES THAT COULD BE CONSTRUED AS HUMOROUS." He shot out, coughing at the end and gasping for breath.

"YEAH BUT THAT'S NOT A FAVORITE, IT'S JUST A GOOD MOVIE. BESIDES, THERE'S ANOTHER MOVIE THAT I REALLY JUST LOVE!" Karkat argued.

"oh god…"

Karkat took a breath again. "IN WHICH THE HERO FINDS HIMSELF FORCED TO MAKE A BIG DECISION ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT HE COMMIT TO HIS MATESPRIT, MEANWHILE, HIS KISMESIS HAS BEEN PUTTING THE MOVES ON HIS MOIRAIL AND NO ONE'S SURE HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THAT, BUT THEN THERE'S A DUELTOTHEDEATHOVERTHEHERO'SREMAININGQUADRANTSANDHISMATESPRITISMORTALLYWOUNDEDANDHERDYINGWISHIS-" Karkat cut himself off as he ran out of breath, dropping to the floor. "I… I CAN'T SAY THE REST, THERE'S TOO MUCH…" He complained, being helped up by Dave.

"ah really worry 'bout you sometimes. also we're so watchin' them." He told him with a smirk, his eyes shut.

"why are you're… oh, right i forgot, karkat took your sunglasses didn't he?" John remarked with a grin.

"SORRY." Karkat muttered, putting them back on Dave's head, covering his eyes.

"anyway, dave, look behind you." John said with a snicker.

"why? who's the-OHGOD!" He screamed, turning around to see a face literally a centimetre from his own.

"Oh that never gets old…" A girl remarked as she took a mask off. "How are you Dave?" She asked with a smile.

"ah'm dying rose" he complained, clutching his heart.

"I have sandwiches." Rose offered.

"that wont help" He argued.

"It might."

"hey rose!" John greeted, giving his friend a hug.

"John we spoke yesterday on the train." Rose told him.

"i'm emotional!" He argued.

"Yes, I can tell…" Rose agreed with a smile.

"ah'm really wonderin' where tz went" Dave said.

"oh, she went to space." John said like that was a thing that made sense.

"… what"

"She went to go find Jade. Jade's been working on something for her recently." Rose explained, pushing John away for a moment.

"ah could have understood that" Dave said with a nod.

"-BUT THEN THEY'RE FORCED INTO A DUEL TO THE DEATH, IN WHICH THE HERO IS NEARLY KILLED, ONLY ESCAPING DUE TO HIS MOIRAIL SACRIFICING HIS OWN KISMISIS TO HELP HIM, REVEALING REDROM FEELINGS TO THE OBLIVIOUS PROTAGONIST." Karkat ranted to someone, who just nodded and took notes.

"And you're positive that this is my type of movie? It certainly sounds like it." the person asked curiously.

"YES I'M POSITIVE, IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT I CAN THINK OF THAT'S BOTH A ROMCOM AND HAS 'BLUE LADIES' OKAY?!" Karkat moaned in anger, and then moaned in pleasure as Dave started massaging his skull.

"Jolly good! I'll expect to see it later then!" The boy said with a grin, walking off with a cheery old timey whistle.

"ah'm so tired…" Dave told Rose.

"Why?"

"ah just didn't get much sleeping sleep stuff." He tried and failed to explained.

"You mean you didn't get any rest from sleeping?"

"yeah that"

"Strange… I wonder why that is…"

"'s 'cause ah don't know." Dave said truthfully.

"I mean logically. Now you're banned from apple juice." Rose warned him.

"ah'm banned from what"

"Apple juice. You're being an insufferable prick."

"that you must have a thing for." John joked.

"That was years ago, in a past life even, how do you remember that?"

"i have noooooooo idea!" John replied honestly.

"dumbasssayswhat" Dave blurted out with a smirk.

"What?" Rose asked confused before sighing. "Oh my god…"

"pppft…" Dave snickered at the stupidity of Rose.

"so… did you know that i'm now bucket?" John asked completely seriously.

"ah really don't get you dude" Dave told him. "ah cant tell if yer jokin or not"

"it was a joke… bucket, pail, quadrents?" He tried to explain.

"Yeah that joke died instantly." Rose figured, walking off.

"i-it was funny! right? guys?" John asked worried, watching everyone walk away from him, before he started to flicker, everybody ignoring him due to things going on. "guuu _ **uuuys?!**_ " He called out, his hair turning orange, two circles appearing on his cheeks and his face curling into an insane smirk.

Dave heard john, but shrugged it off in his tired state as John just being whiny.

John popped out of existence, without the familiar and sort of comforting hum that usually accompanied his vanishing act…

 **Hours later**

Dave looked around worried, he hadn't seen John at all. "ya'll seen john?" He asked the others worried.

"No, I haven't seen him since breakfast, he can't be far though." Rose said with a shrug.

"SAME HERE."

"AND H3R3!"

"I haven't seen him either, we were gonna watch con air 8ut he never showed up." Vriska added.

"ah'm gonna look for him" dave told them, grabbing a set of turntables from somewhere and preparing to spin them.

"I'm coming with you." Rose told him. "If something's wrong you'll need the backup." She explained.

"I'M COMING TOO."

"SO 4M 1!"

"John's my friend, I'm not leaving him 8ehind." They all agreed, grabbing Dave's shirt from behind.

"ah guess ah could use the help." He decided, spinning the tables and watching time go in reverse.

"There!" Rose shouted, forcing dave to stop spinning. "I just saw John in five minutes!" She explained, running off to where she'd seen him.

"wait we don't know whats wrong!" Dave shouted to her, but she didn't hear her.

"Let's go! They might 8e in trou8le!" Vriska told them, following her.

"1'M JUST GONN4 GO FOLLOW TH3N!" Terezi decided, following Vriska.

"… LET'S JUST GO." Karkat told dave as they followed Terezi together.

"John?" Rose asked worried, as she found John sitting by the lake, giggling insanely.

" _ **Hiiiiiiii Rose!**_ " John said, breaking his quirk, Rose quickly took in the view and gulped.

"You… You're in trickster mode… But, but Trickster Mode doesn't do this…" She said, panicking.

" _ **ThIs wHaT HaPpEnS WhEn iT'S CaUsEd bY BeInG AbAnDoNeD!**_ " He cackled, changing quirks.

"ah'm thinking this ain't trickster mode" Dave said as he arrived, and quickly dodged John throwing a tree at him. "more like some insane murder version" He noted.

" _ **D4V3! D4V3 1S TH1S YOU!?**_ " John asked, holding up a picture before he ripped it to shreds.

"H3Y! TH4T'S MY QU1RK!" Terezi shouted annoyed.

" _ **I DON'T CARE SO POLISH MY STEAMING BONE BULGE!**_ " John screamed, snapping even more.

"JOHN, PLEASE JUST… CALM DOWN, WE CAN… UH… PLEASE JUST CALM DOWN." Karkat begged, panicking.

" _ **Do I Look Like I Need To Calm Down Karkat?**_ " John asked, turning to Rose and rushing her, kissing her on the lips, causing her hair to change colour and then the rest of her changed… Her hair starting to look like mint chip ice cream, and joining John in this strange insane murder mode version of trickster mode.

" _ **No John! You're fine now!**_ " Rose agreed, joining the insanity.

"ah crap" Dave stated, looking between his two insane friends…

"WHAT DO WE DO?"

"4S 1 S33 1T? W3 H4V3 THR33 CHO1C3S… JO1N TH3M, D13, OR RUN." Terezi told the ones that weren't insane.

"I vote for run!" Vriska said, breaking into a sprint as she ditched her friends in a panic. "I'm sorry!" She called, unable to handle it.

" _ **Hiiiiiiii Vriska!**_ " John shouted, appearing in front of Vriska, while Rose stared down her former allies.

"J-John, please don't…" Vriska begged.

" _ **WHY NOT? You'll 8e improved, it'll 8e gr8!**_ " He asked confused, rapidly quirk swapping.

"John, please, I didn't ditch you… Please don't do this to me…" She begged again, panicking.

" _ **diitch me? you totally diitched me!**_ " He complained, pulling out a large hammer and holding it over her head.

Vriska stared in shock, before breaking into a sprint, not stopping until she reached the others, and then collapsed…

" _ **One down Rose!**_ " John called to rose.

" _ **Dauym! Yur good! … Dayum!**_ " Rose called back, using a different quirk.

"ah really don't like this…" Dave stated honestly.

" _ **just stop whining! it's not like ah'm crazy right?**_ " John asked, mimicking Dave's voice, accent included.

"TALLY HOOOOOOO!" A voice shouted as a boy jumped from the castle, missing John's head and landing in the lake.

"… _**is he ok?**_ " John asked, going back to his quirk for a second.

"ah'm not sure" Dave said confused.

"ISN'T THAT ENGLISH?" Karkat asked, getting an 'ahhhhh' from everyone.

" _ **aNYWAY IT'S TIME TO HAVE SOME FUN!**_ " John shouted, getting a shiver of horror from Vriska.

"WE'VE GOT TO FIX THIS FAST! OR EVERYTHING'LL GO TO HELL!" Karkat told Dave.

"Fear not! I have the solution!" The boy in the lake shouted as he jumped out. "I've been in trickster mode before! Twice!" The boy explained, pulling out double pistols and aiming them at John and Rose.

"ah hope we don't have to shoot 'em" Dave told him.

"No, i just like my guns." The boy assured.

"ah get ya"

"SO WHAT DO WE DO?!"

" _ **aww hwo ctue! how cute!**_ " Rose remarked, using the same quirk as before.

"That's… Roxy's voice!" Jake said shocked.

"yeah they're swappin' quirks like used c-"

"THEY'RE BEING ANNOYING IS WHAT THEY'RE BEING!" Karkat cut Dave off quickly.

"ah really hope that nobody else gets infected with this stuff" Dave proclaimed, hoping he'd be able to think of something…

" _ **You want to go trickster too? S)(ore!**_ " John said with a grin, changing quirks once again.

"NO. NOBODY IS GOING TRICKSTER MODE. AND YOU'RE GOING TO STOP!" Karkat told him, getting closer to the insane boy.

John stared at him before adopting a familiar pose and preparing to say something… " _ **N9w I realize we've 6een at this f9r s9me time already, 6ut at the risk 9f derailing the dial9gue y9u initiated, and may I just say h9w thrilled I am that y9u did, Karkat, I w9-**_ " He tried to copy a voice that horrified Karkat, but he pushed through and started papping John's face.

"ssssshhhooooshhh…" He whispered, losing his quirk for a moment in order to calm him down.

" _ **no… No… NO… STOP! IT HURTS!**_ " He screamed, the colours flaring.

"JUST CALM DOWN JOHN, I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU…" Karkat told him, sure it was working and forgetting about Rose, who held a pumpkin over his head…

Jake aimed his pistols at the pumpkin, quickly destroying it before it hit Karkat.

" _ **Aww… You broke it…**_ " Rose said sadly.

"IT'S NOT WORKING…?" Karkat asked confused, the colours returning to trickster mode, John giving a grin before shoving him away.

" _ **YOu ARE NOT GETTING RID OF THIS. NEVER. IF YOu TRY IT EVER AGAIN I WILL RIP YOuR SHAME GLOBES FROM YOuR BODY AND BuRN THEM…**_ " He told him angrily.

"ah really hope we get a deus ex machina…" Dave muttered…


	3. I had to wait all day to post this

**AN: You know how this will end… You can't stop it… You… Can't fight it… Just accept it and just watch, as this goes down… You don't have a choice dear reader, you need to read, how do you know if they survive? You can't…**

Dave dodged the blast from John, a combo of trickster magicks and breath powers.

" _ **DIEDIEDIEDEI!**_ " John screamed, firing madly, Rose doing the same.

"THIS IS GETTING NOWHERE!" Karkat shouted to Dave, before he was forced to doge.

"ah know that!" Dave shouted back, pulling a sword out of the air and deflecting a blast, the shockwave sending him flying back. "bad idea" He told himself, getting up quickly.

"I really don't think we're getting anywhere!" Jake called out, shooting shots out of the sky.

"Yeah, I kinda guessed that genius! We're gonna get culled if we don't figure this out!" Vriska called back annoyed, stumbling over her own feet. "Why am I so clumsy all of a sudden?!" She screamed annoyed.

" _ **T)(is is fun!**_ " Rose said with a grin.

" _ **wwell, it's good to see you'vve mastered the art of FUN!**_ " John commented, quirk changing again.

"I'M REALLY GETTING SICK OF THIS…" Karkat grumbled, boosting Terezi into the air to deflect another shot.

"NO K1DD1NG! TH1S 1S JUST BOR1NG NOW!" Terezi agreed.

" _ **b-boring?! we can't have that!**_ " John shouted instantly, his hair flickering for a moment, his shot hitting Vriska while she was distracted.

"VR1SK4!" Terezi shouted in horror.

"It hurts…" She whimpered, her hair turning into bright red candy floss, two candy cane horns bursting from her skull, one ending in a claw and the other with a small hook hanging off of it… " _ **Make it stop…..**_ " She begged, before floating into the air slowly.

" _ **it's ok vriska, it's all ok…**_ " John said, helping her into the air gently, before letting go. " _ **see?**_ "

"… _**Heh… Heh heh…**_ " Vriska started laughing, before shooting blasts at the sane four, causing them to dodge more blasts.

"GODDAMNIT VRISKA!" Karkat shouted angrily.

"W3 N33D TO H3LP H3R!" Terezi shouted worried for her Moirail.

"NO TIME! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Karkat told her, grabbing her arm and starting to back away.

" _ **Boo!**_ " Vriska shouted, booping Terezi on the nose, Karkat quickly releasing the quickly changing girl.

"VR1SK4?! W **H4** _ **T D1D YOU DO!? 1T F33LS GR34T!**_ " She shouted, horns bursting from her head, hair changing colour…

"OH GOD, NOT YOU AS WELL…" Karkat muttered in fear, running to Dave as Jake got hit…

" _ **TALLY HOO!**_ " He shouted, looking at his new appearance confused. " _ **I don't usually look this.**_ " He noted. His hair, usually green in this form, was now a slightly different shade of green, lime instead of acidic…

"THIS IS BAD. THIS IS BAD THIS IS BAD THIS IS BAD…" Karkat repeated, panicking a lot.

"don't look now but it's gotten worse" Dave told him.

Karkat turned around and gulped, dave's shades had changed shape, and his hair was turning the colour jake's normal trickster mode usually was… "NOT YOU AS WELL…" He whimpered.

"ah'm sorry karkat we gotta fix this fast" Dave told him, making sure to avoid physical contact… And then the transformation took him over, giving Karkat a horrid grin before he vanished, Karkat breaking into a sprint to escape the horror.

John watched curiously as Karkat ran, following him from a distance, the other's laughing happily, before stopping, staring at their hands depressed…

" _ **karkat?**_ " He asked as Karkat dropped gasping.

"NO… NONONO STAY AWAY!"

" _ **karkat? what's going on?**_ " He asked, the trickster colours fading instantly, along with some of his own colour.

"THIS IS A TRICK. THIS HAS TO BE…"

"karkat, why are you scared? where's dave?" He asked confused, before remembering. "oh… this is my fault… we need to fix this, quickly." He told him.

"YEAH, I KNOW THAT! BUT HOW?! THAT WASN'T NORMAL!" Karkat agreed.

"… it wasn't trickster mode! i snapped when i thought you guys had abandoned me! i've never been really alone before, so… i didn't infect them with…"

"ASSHOLE CANDY MAGIC… YOU INFECTED THEM WITH ASSHOLE INSANE CANDY MAGIC!" Karkat finished, figuring out where he was going with this.

"exactly! but… that doesn't tell us how to fix it…"

"ACTUALLY… I MIGHT KNOW A GUY THAT CAN HELP US…" Karkat pondered, rubbing his chin in thought. "WE JUST HAVE TO ASK…"

"No, I'm not helpin' you out here, you got yourself into this mess." The boy refused, his anime shades glinting in the light.

"but jake got infected as well! you're the only one that's immune to the effects!" John pleaded.

"The answers still no, it'll wear off on it's own."

"IT WOULD, BUT IT'S NOT NORMAL ASSHOLE CANDY MAGIC, IT'S ASSHOLE INSANE CANDY MAGIC." Karkat corrected.

"… Fine… You're lucky I'm the one with the juju, we just gotta make a new one since mine only works for me." The boy agreed.

"thanks dirk, we really appreciate this." John thanked.

"Don't thank me yet, this might not work." Dirk told him, melting down two suckers and putting them into beakers, measuring them out in a room, sealed with glass. "Stay out of here while I work…" He added, putting them into a machine that created a spiral sucker. "Here. Now get out." He told them, passing it over and locking the room, the glass covered by shutters.

"… now what?" John asked, looking at it.

"I… THINK WE NEED TO LICK IT?" Karkat told him cautiously.

"different sides?"

"DIFFERENT SIDES." They agreed, tentatively giving it a lick, as the asshole candy magic shot through them…

John went into his true trickster mode for the second time, the one from earlier being bewitcher mode, as they had dubbed it on the way to dirk. " _oh this is awesome!_ " He said, giving Karkat a grin, the large pink sweet in his hair jiggling around as he did.

" _I WANT TO HAVE YOUR PLATONIC BABIES!_ " Karkat shouted happily, having his first true trickster mode high, his hair like red liquorice, like black but red.

" _me too!_ " John agreed, bouncing up and down.

They both shot off to find the others… They found Terezi at one of the towers, spinning around depressed, trying to have fun. A quick boop on the nose from Karkat fixed her right up!

" _TH1S 1S 4M4Z1NG!_ " She shouted, joining them in their flight.

Vriska was sitting by the lake, throwing stones into it. Terezi kicked one back at her, getting her in the forehead and changing her.

" _Ow, that hurt! Buuuuuuuut… This is gr8!_ " She complained, before shooting up, high fiving the group.

" _Next up, Jake!_ " John told them, as they soared around the castle together.

" _OVER THERE!_ " Karkat called out, shooting towards a part of the forest, with lots of injured animals, Jake fighting them and sighing.

" _I got this one guys._ " Vriska said, dropping into a dive and landing, getting a cut from a branch, forcing the trickster mode to not heal the wound until blood came out, showing it to Jake who was distracted by the 'blue ladies' long enough for them all to turn him.

" _TALLY HOO!_ " He shouted, shooting up. " _Thanks for that by the by, i really needed that._ " He thanked them.

" _WHO'S L3FT?_ " Terezi asked.

" _rose and dave._ "

" _DAVE EXPLODED OR SOMETHING, HE VANISHED ANYWAY._ " Karkat told John.

" _I see rose over there! Tally ho!_ " Jake called out, heading to her where she was pacing.

" _ **Useless, who'd care about this anyway? Nobody that's who… Hah, friends? Who needs them?!**_ " She ranted to herself.

" _i do!_ " John called out, distracted Rose long enough for Jake to convert her.

"… _Thanks John, I forgot how optimistic you can be, sorry._ " She apologised, giving him a smile. " _Also, Karkat, your horns are back._ " She added.

" _HUH?! THEY WERE JUST NUBS…_ " Karkat muttered, feeling the candy cane feeling of his old horns. " _THEY'RE BACK! WOO!_ "

" _Where's Dave?_ " She asked confused.

" _we don't know, we're going after him now though._ " John explained, looking around.

Dave was sitting at the highest point of the castle, looking everything over with a demonic smirk. " _ **this could be a song… ah got no clue what though**_ " He muttered, ignoring the true tricksters flying towards him, the last bewitcher.

" _DAVE!_ " Karkat called, getting in front of him.

" _ **heh**_ " Dave chuckled. " _ **what was that about ya'll not getting in trickster mode?**_ "

" _We're in trickster mode, we were, and you are, in Bewitcher mode._ " Rose corrected.

" _ **whatever ya say rose**_ " Dave said with a shrug.

John rushed dave and pushed trickster magic through him, but nothing happened. " _wha?_ "

" _ **heh, ah've accepted this**_ " He explained, pushing John away.

" _WE NEED TO BE POSITIVE! I'M NOT A VERY CHEERY PERSON BUT DAMNIT TRICKSTER MODE MAKES ME HAPPY AND I LIKE IT WITHOUT BEING FORCED TOO!_ " Karkat told John.

" _we need to know we stand with each other._ " John agreed, looking to Terezi.

" _1 M4Y H4V3 K1LL3D YOU, BUT 1 TH1NK W3 H4V3 SOM3TH1NG._ " She told him, reaching out a hand.

" _i hatelove you too!_ " John said with a grin, taking the hand.

" _S4M3 H3R3._ " She nodded with a smirk,

" _You're my moirail, I'm not leaving you to suffer, you wouldn't leave me and I'd do the same for you any day._ " Vriska told Terezi, before turning to Jake. " _You're just really creepy, but in a kinda cute way I guess._ " She admitted.

" _I need to dial it back, i'll admit._ " He agreed.

" _We may all be from different sessions, but we all have a bond. As cheesy as it is, we're all friends._ " Rose added with a chuckle.

" _ **this is cute an all but ah think ah'll pass on the huggy feely crap**_ " Dave told them, floating in the air.

" _then how-About we-G3T DOWN-To 8usiness-right this second-AND CALM YOU DOWN!_ " They said in sync, holding hands, Karkat doing so with this half happy half disgusted look on his face, and circling Dave.

" _ **ah really don't want in on this**_ " Dave repeated.

" _sorry, you don't have a choice._ " John apologised, as they got closer and closer, the circle getting even smaller, the group pressing against each other.

" _ **nonononono**_ _nonoyesyesyesyesyes_ " Dave said, the power flooding through him. " _thanks ah really needed that_ " He admitted, giving them a smile.

" _so… how do we go back to normal?_ " John asked.

"… _WE HAVE BETTER BE ABLE TO._ " Karkat grumbled annoyed, as they all landed at where they had fought.

"ah'm fine" Dave said, back to normal, but holding the trickster mode shades in his hands, his normal shades on his face.

"Same here, by jove look! We have trickster items!" Jake exclaimed, holding a small pumpkin toy in his hands.

"My headband is here in trickster form as well." Rose added, holding it in her hands.

" _Huh, my eye patch is gone…_ " Vriska realised, putting it on and going back to normal, well… Mostly.

"You still have your horns." Rose told her.

"Weird…"

"I H4V3 NO 1D34 1F 4NYTH1NG 1S DOUBL3D." Terezi said.

"You were wearing a blindfold, it's around your head." Rose told her.

"COOL!"

" _WHAT ABOUT US? HOW DO WE CHANGE BACK?_ " Karkat asked, as John got the juju out and stared at it, pulling at the handle in different directions. " _WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_ " He asked confused, before watching as John's mangrit pulled the sucker into a red sucker and a green sucker. " _HUH…_ " He muttered, taking the red one and licking it, changing back, and then the sucker vanished, a red spiral appearing on his palm.

" _cool!_ " John shouted, doing the same with the green, the swirl appearing in green on the opposite hand.

"ah hope ya'll ain't taking mah matesprit" Dave told John half seriously.

"well, i'd have a matesprit, and a kismesis right?" He pointed out.

"Y34H H3 WOULD. BUT H3'S JUST GOT A K1SM3S1S 4T TH3 MOM3NT." Terezi agreed.

"CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS? I REALLY DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF USING THIS STUFF FOR FUN, IT'S REALLY FUN TO USE, BUT STILL… IT SHOULDN'T BE USED FOR EVERYTHING." Karkat told them.

"Yes, it would be… Irresponsible, and we'd get addicted." Rose agreed.

"And it feels bad to take advantage of such power when my friends can't do the same…" Jake added.

"I just don't want to resort to needing outside power…" Vriska muttered. "Still a jerk, go figure."

"I C4N'T S33 4 D1FF3R3NC3 BUT 1'LL 4GR33 4NYW4Y." Terezi told them.

"… how about we use them for dumb stuff next month just to annoy the others?" John questioned.

"ya'll onto something there" Dave told him, the others agreed…

"Just throwing this out there, and forgive me if i'm wrong... But we just saved the day with the power of friendship." Jake realised, getting snickers from everyone.

"THIS IS SO CHEESY!" Karkat shouted as he leaned against Dave.

"yeah, but it's funny so we're laughing." John agreed.

"So, John, we still watching Con air?" Vriska asked hopefully.

"yeah of course! why wouldn't we?" John gave a nod.

"… SO… I'V3 N3V3R 4CTU4LLY N3V3R H4D 4 K1SM3S1S B3FOR3." Terezi told John with a shrug.

"huh. well neither have i so… yeah." John said, shrugging back.

"OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST TRAGIC." Karkat said, practically purring as Dave rubbed his horn.

"no romcoms karkat, i'm not in the mood. i just ruined the day and then got a tattoo. we should just take the week off to relax and just… yeah." John told him, rubbing the mark.

"ah'm glad ah don't have one. mah 'family' would rip mah balls off." Dave said with a grin, rubbing his thumb over a certain spot on Karkat's horn.

"OH GOD THAT'S GOOD!"

"… wow. horns are sensitive huh?"

"YOU DON'T KNOW TH3 H4LF OF 1T JOHN." Terezi agreed.

"So, how do we explain the horns? Nu88y can hide them 8ut we can't." Vriska pointed out.

"ah can come up with something" Dave promised, before looking carefully.

…

…

…

…

"ah got nothing" He admitted, going back to rubbing Karkat's horns like cat ears.

"Greaaaaaaaat… I'm not cutting my horns off, no matter what anyone says. That hurts!" Vriska complained.

"3QU1US 1S 4CTU4LLY TH3 TH1RD STRONG3ST TROLL 1N TH3 S3SS1ON." Terezi pointed out.

"OH YEAH I REMEMBER THAT, GAMZEE TOOK THE LEAD WHILE NEPETA WAS BETWEEN RIGHT?" Karkat checked.

"Y3P!"

"We actually thought Nepeta was really fragile until Equius accidently hit her hard, and she just hit him back playfully, he needed ice." Vriska explained with a smirk. "That's when I learned not to mess with the kitty." She added.

"wow. i didn't expect that." John remarked, examining the swirl again. "why is this so familiar?" He wondered.

"It's calliope's. She and caliborn had the separate forms of the first trickster mode juju, she sent her's to janey, caliborn gave me his, which i gave to jane, that caused them to fuse." Jake explained.

"oh, that'd do it…" John agreed, scratching furiously at it. "this is so irritating!" He complained.

"Let me try something." Rose told him, scratching it with her nails, almost cutting John's palm open.

"owowowow! there goes the itch, and my hand…" He groaned, rubbing his hand.

"It got rid of it though, right?"

"ow…"

"ah'm gonna go back to the castle 'cause we've got ten minutes to get back to where we were when we went to go find john" Dave told them, walking off, the other's following quickly behind him.

"I almost forgot about that…" Rose admitted.

"SO DID I. BUT SERIOUSLY HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO MY PARENTS?!" Karkat shouted annoyed. "THEY ALREADY WANTED TO GET ME SURGERY TO LOSE THE BONE HORNS! NOW I HAVE ACTUAL HORNS AND A TATTOO! THIS IS NOT GOOD!"

"ya have parents?"

"YEAH… THEY… THEY SUCK. IT'S… IT'S DAMARA AND CRONUS. THEY KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING BUT ONE OF THEM CAN'T BE UNDERSTOOD BY THE OTHER, AND ONE OF THEM FLIRTS WITH LITERALLY EVERYTHING… I HAVE TO TRANSLATE SINCE I SOMEHOW UNDERSTAND HER." Karkat explained with a shrug.

"Wow. I'm just raised by Aranea, we mostly just let each other do our own things, but we do hang out and do family stuff when we get the chance." Vriska said, throwing her own two coins in.

"1'M R41S3D BY TH3 R4DD3ST CH1CK 3V3R!" Terezi exclaimed, literally jumping into the air for a second.

"I'm raised by mother, not Roxy, the one I was raised by last time, Roxy's my sister in this life, well, we're cousins but her mother, b2 me, is usually sick so she lives with me." Rose added.

"I'm raised by grandma, jade's on the island opposite raised by other me, oh yeah we have islands, they're like identical in everyway." Jake said, stretching as they headed back.

"i'm just raised by dad with jane, but… well, it's my dad and her dad, somehow both versions were reborn in one body so it developed in him getting two personalities, dad egbert and dad crocker, so jane and i are siblings in everything but name." John said. "i think i have the best home life."

"well ah'm literally harry potter, ah'm sorta wishin ah'd read them books now." Dave finished, agreeing that John had the best life.

"Well John, you win again. Just like last time…" Rose grumbled, giving him a medal.

"woo! i'm always gonna win! oh yeah!" He said happily, doing a little dance that made Rose break into a giggle fit.

"I-Is that a dance or a jig?" Jake asked confused.

"I have a-absolutely… N-No idea!" Rose giggled, unable to help herself.

"… 1 H4V3 JUST R34L1S3D 1'V3 GOT 4 W31RDO FOR 4 K1SM3S1S…" Terezi muttered in horror.

"Yeah, sure sucks huh?" Vriska told her. "I had Eridan though, I got it worse." She decided.

"so… quadrents are two red two black right?"

"YES. YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS."

"is there a reverse? red spade, red club, black heart, black diamond?" John asked curiously.

"… I GOT THIS… BLACH HEART, WHEN A PARTNER LOVES SOMEONE SO MUCH THEIR MATESPRITSHIP TURNS BLACK, AND THEY BECOME OBSESSIVE AND CONTROLLING. VERY WILLING TO USE VIOLENCE IF NECESSARY TO PREVENT OTHERS FROM INTERACTING WITH THEIR MATESPRIT AND VISE VERSA." He said, before continuing. "BLACK DIAMOND, SIMILIARLY TO BLACK HEART ROMANCE, IT IS WHEN ONE MEMBER OF A MOIRAILIGIANCE BECOMES SO POSSESSIVE OF THEIR MOIRAIL THAT THEY ACTIVELY ATTEMPT TO CONTROL THEIR LIFE AND PREVENT OTHERS FROM INTERFERING. RED SPADE, A BRUTAL, ALMOST SPITEFUL FORM OF ROMANCE MOST CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH MATESPRITSHIP, HOWEVER TYPICALLY FULL OF CONFLICTING VIEWS AND OPINIONS, AND LINED WITH SARCASTIC AND SNARKY TONES. RED CLIB, WHEN TWO PARTNERS ARE SO VERY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, THEY MUTUALY BECOME LOST IN EACH OTHER, TO THE POINT WHERE THEY FORGET TO EAT, SLEEP, BATH OR PARTICIAPATE IN ANY OTHER ACTIVITY, A THIRD PARTY INVOLVES THEMSELVES TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THESE TWO OBSESSIVE LOVERS, HOWEVER IT IS A DANGEROUS ROLE AS THE RELATIONSHIP MAY VERY QUICKLY BECOME A DOUBLE-SIDED BLACK HEARTED RELATIONSHIP." He finished, giving a smug little smirk.

"… wow. are they real or…?" John asked.

"I HAVE NO IDEA. I JUST MADE THEM UP BUT THEY'RE PROBABLY REAL."

"They're real, I read a8out it once in Mindfangs journal. 8ack in her time they were ancient, so by our time no8ody remem8ered them, not even Nepeta, only candy-red's can remember them apparently, they always think they made them up." Vriska explained. "They're always the same explanation." She added, before Karkat could argue.

"Well, maybe we can test this later…" Rose theorised, getting distracted, before walking into the wall.

"watch out rose!" John warned, intentionally after she had impacted.

"I'm swooning as we speak." She said sarcastically.

"then our brave knight can save you." John pointed out, just as sarcastic.

"ah can swoop in like the goddamn batman" Dave joked, putting on a batman voice that clashed with his accent.

"ugh, terrible." John told him, humming something. "you got it stuck in my head!"

"got what in what"

"that dumb, cancer crystal power thing."

"y'mean karkat moon right"

"I THOUGHT WE CALLED MOONLIGHT TSUNDERE."

"karkat moon's the ironic name dahlin" Dave explained, putting on a posh voice that didn't clash at all what are you talking about no this isn't a dead body behind my back what are you talking about hah… This is just a script idiot.

"dahlin? ah lookit me ah'm dave ah'm a texan dahlin lookit!" John mocked with a grin.

"that sounds nothing like me how dare ya do that" Dave argued instantly.

"IT SOUNDED JUST LIKE YOU WHEN YOU'RE TIRED." Karkat said, siding with John.

"ouch" Dave mock fainted before getting back up. "mah own matesprit betrays me" He mock anguished.

"NO. I'M JUST SIDING WITH THE PRANKSTER THAT I THINK I HAD A CALIGNOUS CRUSH ON AT SOME POINT BUT I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER." Karkat argued.

"yeah you did. it's why you did the reverse time travel thing." John reminded him.

"OH YEAH. I FORGOT ABOUT THAT… THE BASIS FOR FRIENDSHIP, INSUFFERABLE TIME TRAVEL TROLLING THAT GAVE US BOTH HEADACHES." Karkat reminisced.

"and yet you're still shorter than me." John pointed out, leaning on Karkat's head, his arm at just the angle to avoid the horns.

"OH COME ON! DON'T CALL ME SHORT!" Karkat complained.

"yer short karkat" Dave admitted with a smirk.

"you're the same height as him since this version of you seems abused." John noted, resting his other arm on Dave's head.

"John, stop using your tall privilege against those who can't use it." Rose told him, while she leaned on Jake's head along with Terezi's.

"when you stop using yours." John argued.

"I'm tired."

"so am i." the two started bickering playfully.

"ah love these guys" Dave told Karkat with a small smile.

"YEAH. YOU KEEP SAYING THAT." Karkat told him, rolling his eyes…

"ah do don't ah" Dave muttered, looking up as best he could with an egbert arm on his skull…

Dirk watched from his room, looking at his own juju in distaste. "Why can he get the full effects when I can't?" He wondered, letting it vanish into the air…


	4. Minisode not every one can be badass!

**AN: Hi. This is a shorter chapter. Because a genius gave me a genius idea, you know who you are! And I want to get this done! Also I can't think very well so yeah there's that, this is effectively the breather chapter, they don't do anything.**

John looked at the mark on his palm, making sure that nobody who wasn't aware of it saw it.

"ya'll screwed" Dave told him with a smirk, eating lunch.

"I agree, but in much calmer words." Rose agreed.

"What are you talking about?" A voice asked from behind John, a girl looking over his shoulder as he quickly closed his hand into a fist.

"nothing jane. just… stuff?" John said worried.

"By jove, are we going to lie to our friends? I don't think i can do that and risk losing a friendship again." Jake asked worried.

"You can tell me, I won't be mad, promise." Jane said with a smile.

"… jake…" John said, clenching his fist tighter.

"We can activate trickster mode at will thanks to an unfortunate event involving much chummy comradery." Jake explained, looking away.

"…" Jane was silent for a moment. "Wow. Really? How? I thought Dirk had the juju locked up." She asked confused.

"it didn't come from a juju at first but instead it came from john actin like a yandere and goin cracray" Dave said with a shrug. "then he and karkat went to dirk to do some crap and they got tattoos while we got cool accessories" He finished in a couple sentences, unlike my stories.

"Huh… Wait, you got a tattoo?! John, you realise Dad, both of them, will show **STERN FATHERLY DISAPPROVAL** right?" Jane pointed out.

"yeah i know, but i can't get rid of it, so now i just have this stupid green swirl on my palm, and a couple cuts on it." He added.

"Wait, let me see?" Rose asked, looking at the cuts. "I thought it only scratched!" She exclaimed in worry.

"yeah, so did i… but it didn't, it cut me…" He said with a shrug.

"I'm really sorry John, I just…" She tried to apologise.

"it's fine. really." He assured her.

"Sooo… Who has the other mark?" Jane asked curiously.

"I DO. I… SAID SOME WEIRD STUFF, BUT STUFF I WOULD SAY IF I WAS IN A GOOD MOOD, SO ALL TRICKSTER MODE DOES IF WILLINGLY ACTIVATED OR USED TO PROPERLY ACTIVATE IT IS PUT YOU IN A GOOD MOOD." Karkat said, showing his mark.

"wait, you mean you would have said you want to have my platonic babies if you were in a good mood?" John asked confused.

"I WAS ON A SUGAR HIGH, BUT YEAH, I WOULD. IN A PURELY PLATONIC WAY." He specified, giving a shrug.

"well ah guess ah'll need to keep an eye on ya'll" Dave decided.

"dude, we're 11…" John muttered disgusted.

"I HAVE NO IDEA HOW OLD THAT IS, I ZONED OUT A LOT."

"It's about… Carry the two… About 5.08 sweeps I believe, if my calculations are right."

"THAT'S PRETTY YOUNG… I THINK." Karkat agreed hesitantly. "I'M NOT GOOD WITH THIS STUFF."

Jane gave a shrug, sitting in the seat next to John and grabbing some food. "So, what are your items?" She asked curiously.

"ah got these cute little shades" Dave said, holding his heart shades with a big grin. "ah love em so much"

"I have this headband, it just seems to merge with mine when I put it on." Rose added, holding hers, which was brown with a chocolate flakey thing that goes in ice creams attached to it.

"I have a pumpkin. I just attach it to my hair." Jake said with a shrug.

"If I take my eyepatch of it transforms me, maybe I could get some8ody to change it, it gets annoying to go trickster every time I want a shower…" Vriska grumbled.

"1 4PP4R3NTLY H4V3 4 BL1NDFOLD." Terezi shrugged, using it as a wristband for convenience.

"So… Where'd the juju go?" Jane asked.

"JOHN SNAPPED IT IN HALF, AS IN HE SPLIT IT INTO A RED AND A GREEN, AND THEN THEY BECAME THE SWIRLS ON OUR HANDS." Karkat explained.

"i got a lot of mangrit ok?" John muttered with a cheeky grin.

"Yes John, which would have sped the game along if it had been there from the start, maybe things would have gone differently." Rose said, rolling her eyes snarkily.

"And There Goes My Sanity." A voice said as a girl wrapped her arms around Rose from behind.

"Hello there Kanaya." Rose said with a smile.

"HEY KANAYA, LOOK." Karkat called out, pointing at his horns.

"How Did They Get There?" Kanaya asked in shock.

"We got em as well." Vriska pointed out, with a grin.

"TURNS OUT TR1CKST3R MOD3 DO3S TH4T TO YOU." Terezi explained.

"Trickster… Mode?" Kanaya asked confused.

"It's a thing. Aaaand that's all you need to know." Jane told her with a shrug, pulling out a small cake.

"ew, that's been in your pocket all week, you're gonna eat that?" John pointed out.

"No, I made it in the kitchens here, I brought my baking stuff." She explained.

"that's crocker cake isn't it…"

"Yep!" Jane agreed with a grin, John doing the magnificent headdesk.

"WELL, I, AM GOING TO RELAX, I NEED A BREAK." Karkat said, getting up and walking off.

"ActuallyIhavesomethingI'mgoingtodowithKanayabye!" Rose blurted out, the two vanishing from sight.

"G8… So, I'm going to go cry once I've eaten, and then cry some more because John reminded me of Tavros' death…" Vriska said with a sigh, poking her food.

"W4NT MOT1V4T1ON4L SUPPORT?" Terezi asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine on my own…" Vriska assured her.

"4LR1GHT… 1F YOU'R3 SUR3…" She muttered.

"so… who was dirk raised by? does anyone know?" John asked curiously.

"… ah think ah did" Dave said. "or the other me" He added with a shrug. "but then ah wasn't raised by him so ah might be wrong" He supposed with another big shrug.


	5. the hangover

**AN: Hi. It's time for the hangover to hit. Hard. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard.**

Dave groaned in a cool way, a few days after the trickster event, holding his head. The others were doing the same, except for Jake who was a cup of tea, nursing it with a smirk, watching the others.

"ah'm gonna die" Dave complained.

"how are you so fine jake?" John asked, his face pressed against the table.

"Because i've been in trickster mode before, meaning that the hangover doesn't affect me as much." Jake explained with a shrug.

"Ungh… I want to sleep… It hurts…" Rose moaned upset.

Karkat and Terezi let out tiny whimpers, unable to even speak without getting a killer headache.

"Heh… oh god I'm seeing octuple…" Vriska bemoaned, her eye patch tilted at an angle where her eye could see. "I usually see quadruple…" She explained, trying to put the patch over her eye.

Jake smirked, drinking his tea. "I am affected by the hangover you know. I'm just good at dealing with it." He told them.

"Why didn't we get this last time at the wedding?" Rose asked.

"You didn't join in, and it was a willing change, so it just put you in a good mood, whereas karkat probably didn't want to go trickster after watching us change to bewitcher, and john was going from bewitcher to fade to trickster, so he has it worse." Jake explained.

"f… fade?" John asked quietly.

"You lost colour right?"

"right…"

"It's called the fade, jade and i have seen it before but it's never been so powerful, it happens when multiple changes happen in a short time, say… Normal to bewitcher, to normal, the second normal becoming fade instead since it was a change to normal." Jake explained. "If you hadn't entered trickster mode when you did… Well, things would be much worse…" He added with a sigh.

"Jake, do… Do you think we were in bewitcher mode?" Jane asked.

"No, we weren't since it came from the juju, although it could be seen as slightly bewitcher for the negative traits, which shouldn't be so powerful." He assured her.

A girl's head hit the table hard, making those suffering from hangovers wince hard, while jake just rubbed his forehead. "hngover suuukcs… hangover. sucks." The girl said, correcting herself.

"Please stop drinking Roxy, we need silence…" Rose begged the girl, Roxy.

"wiiiiine… y u drunk?" She asked curiously.

"no, we're recovering from asshole candy magic hangover…" John explained, pushing his head into the table.

"ah can't take this anymore" Dave groaned, looking to Jake. "can ya'll get us some o' that fancy headachey stuff?" He begged.

"You mean a hangover cure? Which one? The magic one or the one dirk made?"

"whichever is better…" John cut in. "and faster working." He added.

"So dirks. The magic one is good and all but dirks is made with stuff you can find anywhere." Jake nodded, pulling some vials out of somewhere and pouring the liquid inside into cups. "Drink up."

The group grabbed the cups and drank as one, gagging and swallowing it down as they did.

"THAT TASTES DISGUSTING!" Karkat shouted, as in shouted, as in his normal speech seems as loud as john, he shouted loud.

"oh, karkat, turn down the volume!" John complained.

"1 JUST W3NT D34F. 1'M D34F 4ND BL1ND. 1'M L1K3 SOM3 K1ND OF MOT1V4T1ON4L CH4R4CT3R 1N 4 S4D STORY." Terezi noted, having trouble hearing her voice thanks to Karkat.

"This is terezi, terezi is blind and deaf thanks to sir shouts a lot. Sir shouts a lot is tired. Only you can shut up today." Rose said in a dull monotone like in an advert.

"OK 1 TH1NK 1'M GOOD… Y34H 1'M F1N3 NOW." Terezi assured, rubbing her ears.

"SORRY. I JUST… GOD, WHERE'S A KIBARASHI WHEN YOU NEED ONE?" Karkat complained.

"a what?"

"… I SLIPPED INTO JAPANESE DIDN'T I…" Karkat mumbled embarrassed. "I SAID I COULD UNDERSTAND JAPANESE, I… I SLIP INTO IT SOMETIMES IF I'M IN A REALLY BAD MOOD, I MEANT TO SAY DISTRACTION…" He explained.

John gave a hum of intellectual thought.

"John stop looking intellectual." Rose said instantly.

"i was just thinking-"

"Dangerous." Rose joked, interrupting him.

"… as i was saying, i was thinking about the swirls, d'you think we could combine into communism?" John asked curiously.

"nonononono ya'll ain't trying this" Dave protested. "ya might not be able to split again and ah'm not datin egbert" He pointed out. "no offence"

"all of it taken." John grumbled. "am i not pretty enough?"

"dude we're not goin down this road"

"or am i too tall? is that the problem?"

"john stop ah ain't going down there"

"Dave, I think class will start soon, we had better go." Rose advised.

"right" Dave nodded, the entire group preparing…

"is it my hair?"

"shut up egbert"

"fiiiiiiiine..." John bemoaned.

"… So does anyone have at all the slightest interest in finding out where the others are?" Jake asked.

"YOU MEAN THE OTHER TROLLS?"

"Yes, and… And dirk." Jake added.

"we saw him yesterday." John pointed out.

"No, not that dirk… My dirk, or, my brain ghost i suppose, brain ghost dirk, bgd." Jake explained.

"Isn't he just your subconscious in the form and personality of Dirk?" Jane asked.

"Yes, but he's my friend, and he's not there anymore… I've tried to find him." Jake cut off Jane's next question instantly.

"It's because you weren't looking hard enough." He said in a different voice, dirk's voice.

"THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, I THINK." Karkat pointed out.

"What was pretty good?" Jake asked confused.

"He has no idea what's going on and it's amazing." He said in Dirk's voice right afterwards.

"Oh! I see dirk now, bgd anyway!" He said, looking at his shoulder.

"What like a shoulder angel?" Jane asked with a grin.

"Yes actually."

"I think I'm more shoulder devil." This time the voice came from his shoulder, not his mouth.

"Did you hear that?"

"Y34H 1 H34RD 1T. BR41N GHOST D1RK 1S H3R3." Terezi told him. "S33R OF M1ND, R3M3MB34?"

"Oh, the chick that kept sniffing me, great thing though, I'm actually my own person now, instead of a mind splinter thingy." BGD said in a smug voice.

"So we're going to have to deal with an animate shoulder until we find a way to see you." Rose noted.

"Nah, I can sort that out later, might be a bit difficult though." BGD assured.

"HeY ThErE EvErY OnE…" A voice said from behind Karkat. "nO HaRd fEeLiNgS RiGhT?" The person asked in a chilled out tone.


	6. Do you know how annoying gamzees text is

**AN: Sup?**

Dave leaned back to see the grinning bandaged face of a juggalo. "ah really can't remember yer name" He said, shrugging.

"GAMZEE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Karkat exclaimed, freaking out.

"SaMe rEaSoN ThE ReSt oF Us aRe hErE BrO." Gamzee said with a shrug, proudly wearing his Hufflepuff badge on his bandages.

"NO SERIOUSLY. WHY? NOBODY REALLY CARES. YOU'RE CALM, YOU CAN'T BRING ABOUT YOUR MIRTHFUL WHATEVER, WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Karkat asked, incredibly calm all of a sudden.

"I'M JuSt hErE To sAy hI To aLl yOu mOtHeRfUcKeRs." Gamzee explained, resting an arm on Terezi's head carelessly.

"G4MZ33…" Terezi growled annoyed.

"I'M NoT AlL CaLiGnOuS No mOrE. i aIn't oNe oF ThOsE BaBe sNaTcHiN MoThErFuCkErS" He assured.

"how do you even know about that?" John asked confused.

"YoU Be AlL HoLdIn hEr hAnD My bRoThEr" Gamzee pointed out, as they noticed that John was in fact, holding Terezi's hand.

"… i didn't even realise." He said in confusion.

"1T'S… K1ND OF 4N 1NST1NCT1V3 TH1NG. WH3N G4MZ33 K1ND4… 3H… H3 GOT V3RY H4NDSY… NOT 1N 4 GOOD W4Y…" Terezi told him, a little uncomfortable.

"We were preparing for class." Rose reminded everyone, causing a scramble for their stuff, passing it around, John finding something and pocketing it without a second thought, everyone rushing to class.

 **Minutes later**

They were in charms, having made it just in time.

"HEY. JOHN." Karkat hissed, getting John's attention.

"yeah?"

"YOU TOOK MY NOTEBOOK. MIND PASSING IT BACK?" He asked quietly. John quickly rummaged through his pocket, finding it easily and looking at it confused. "YES. THAT ONE. GIVE IT HER- NO DON'T LOOK!" He hissed more, panicking as John looked through it.

"this isn't a notebook. it's a photo album." John pointed out.

"JUST GIVE IT HERE." He hissed out, snatching it and hiding it quickly.

"hey, karkat?"

"WHAT?"

"how are you a vantas if your parents are megido and ampora?" John asked confused.

"I'LL EXPLAIN LATER." He promised, before going back to helping out dave.

 **Later**

John cornered Karkat, having gotten everyone to help him.

"JOHN. YOU ALREADY HAVE A KISMESIS." Karkat retorted, getting an instant shout of anger from john that quickly subsided.

"you said you'd explain, i don't want the others to miss it." He explained, getting nods.

"ah gotta admit ah'm a lil curious" Dave admitted.

"SO 4M 1."

"It's like, the 8iggest mystery of all mysteries! Other than why Tavros trusted me…" Vriska joked before she got a little depressed.

"WELL… cronusmaynotbemydad…" Karkat whispered quickly and quietly.

"what?" John asked, having missed it.

"CRONUS… ISN'T MY DAD…" He repeated embarrassed.

"TH3N WHO 1S?"

"DUH, KANKRI, MR TRIGGER WARNING… HE AND… DAMARA, THEY HAD THIS FLING WHEN HE GOT DRUNK, HE LEFT AFTERWARDS THOUGH SINCE HE WAS THAT VOW OF BLAH BLAH BLAH." He explained, blushing a little.

"W41T… TH4T M4K3S US COUS1NS!" Terezi exclaimed in excitement.

"HOW?!"

"UH, 1'M SOLLUX'S S1ST3R, S1NC3 L4TUL4 4ND M1TUN4 1S 4 TH1NG. BUUUUUT… H3 H4S SOM3… PROBL3MS, DOWN B3LOW… SO TH3Y K1ND4… Y34H…"

"THAT WOULD MAKE US SIBLINGS."

"Y34H, BUT M1TUN4 GOT 1T SORT3D OUT L4T3R, SO 1T'S JUST 34S13R TO C4LL US COUS1NS. " She explained with a shrug.

Gamzee let out a loud honk to get their attention. "CaN I Be aDdInG To tHiS FeElS BuCkEt?" He asked with the same doped up grin as always.

"i don't have a problem with it!" John said with a smile.

"ah don't mind long as ya don't hurt anyone" Dave agreed.

"I see no problem." Rose nodded.

"1 R34LLY DON'T W4NT YOU TOO BUT SUR3." Terezi agreed reluctantly.

"Eh, sure, might 8e fun." Vriska decided.

"B-BUCKETS…" Karkat whimpered, sliding down the wall dramatically.

"AlRiGhT ThEn… I Be GeTtIn wHeRe yOu'rE CoMinG FrOm. hOw cOuLd i nOt wHeN My dAd wEnT OfF To Be a mOtHeRfUcKiN VeT MiMe?" He told him, patting his shoulder.

"WAIT REALLY? OH, RIGHT YOUR DANCESTOR IS… CARLOS? THERE WAS UH… I REALLY DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THE NAMES EXCEPT FOR A FEW. THERE'S THE OBVIOUS ONES, LIKE CRONUS, KANKRI, MOM… I MEAN, DAMARA, UH… MEOWLIN? CARLOS… MM… OH, MEENAH, AAAAND… THAT'S ABOUT IT." He admitted with a shrug.

Terezi facepalmed, remembering the carlos thing. "YOU B3TT3R B3 JOK1NG…" She grumbled.

"NO. I HAVE A TERRIBLE MEMORY, IT'S REALLY BAD." He admitted.

"wow" Dave stated in shock. "ah really didn't think it was that bad" He muttered.

"why do you hate calling her mom?" John asked curiously.

"… BECAUSE…" He mumbled something out, that could not be heard.

"i'm sorry?" John asked, holding his hand to his ear.

"BECAUSE… SHE JUST… I DON'T KNOW… SHE'S NICE TO ME… SHE PUNCHED ONE KID THAT ENDED UP BULLYING ME… THE KID BROKE HIS JAW…" He admitted, looking away.

"You have a better mother than I've ever had." Rose pointed out.

"REALLY?"

"I was raised by an alcoholic."

"ah was raised by a walrus and an ugly giraffe" Dave added.

"MY MOMS 4 L4WY3R. I W1N."

"Mom's an archaeologist." Vriska added.

"crocker boss." John stated smugly.

"… You have the best luck ever!" Jake exclaimed.

"John. Please stop winning." Rose requested.

"MY MOM LITERALLY BEATS KIDS UP IF THEY BULLY ME. DOES THIS MAKE ME A CONTENDER?"

"nah. she's also very sexual from what i hear."

"NO SHE'S NOT!" Karkat shouted angrily. "SHE'S NOT BEEN LIKE THAT SINCE I WAS BORN!" He explained, looking ready to punch the dorky look off of John's face.

"i've never met her! that's why i said from what i heard!" he explained quickly. "that's literally all that i've heard!" He added, trying to calm the scary guy down, making sure to lean away from the literal flames in his eyes.

"K4RK4T YOUR 3Y3S 4R3 BURN1NG." Terezi said quickly, smelling the flames.

"WHAT?! OH GOD MY EYES!" Karkat screamed, clutching his eyes.

"he doesn't realise they're metaphorical does he" Dave muttered to Rose with a sigh.

"More like… Semi metaphorical, his eyes are literally burning, but they won't hurt him."

"how'd ya know?"

"How do you think I give those… _cold,_ looks?" Rose stated, giving the worst of cold puns.

"no" Dave groaned. "just no" he gave a sigh, staring rose in the eyes. "even ah have mah limits and they just got hit by that there pun o yers" He warned her.

"Alright… I thought it was funny…" She grumbled.

"WHATEVER… CAN WE GET TO CLASS? I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF…" Karkat asked.

"LeTs bE GoIn tHeN MoThErFuCkErS" Gamzee said, walking off with a doped up smile on his bandaged face.

"why is he bandaged?" John whispered quietly.

"I GoT A LoT Of sCaRs mY BrOtHeR" Gamzee explained as he kept walking.


End file.
